patron saint of impure girls

Message me here, or on instagram - DM @thethrilloftheabecedarian for more information or to share your story. Anonymity is guaranteed. It’s like group therapy, but with way better jokes, and you don’t have to be sober. 🥳

I finally met somebody, or, rather, I started following his (now ex) girlfriend on tumblr and then followed him as well because I liked his sense of humor, and things fell apart and then together in a way that made my prior San Diego plans disintegrating not seem so bad. He posted something indicating that he lives in San Diego while I was scrolling through facebook sulking about what happened and we started talking and just didn’t stop? We talk more or less all day every day. He’s so funny and so sweet and so emotionally mature and honest and it’s such a change of pace from Sean it’s unbelievable. Only two more nights here, two nights in a hotel, two nights staying with my former coke dealer in Capitol Hill, and one night with a rando from the couchsurfing app and then I get to spend two days in a row with him. If I can just get everything done and get down there I know it will be the best birthday ever.

Juliette broke my life and Sean broke my heart for the last time and so I am leaving Seattle. There is nothing for me here any more. I just want to start over from scratch. We’ll see how it goes.

J send me a bunch of pictures from high school and i’m just so

If I am honest with myself, there was always a limit to my potential. If I am honest with myself, any man will fuck you if you let him masturbate onto your asshole. If I am honest with myself, I don’t know what I did with all or any of my days. If I am honest with myself, it is a relief. Angel food cake is my favorite food. Nothing was as good as I’d wanted it to be.

The Babysitter At Rest

Valentine’s Day was alright. I woke my boyfriend up with sex, and afterward when he asked what had gotten into me I chirped “just feels great to sleep five hours in a row instead of two!” and did not add that I’m a week clean off my latest painkiller relapse, which is usually about how long it takes for my sex drive to come back and for me to wake up feeling anything but dope sick. Last night Sean surprised me with a fifth of Luksosowa, a dozen red roses, boxes of two different flavors of haagen dazs ice cream bars, and a six pack of club soda, Today, though, around four in the afternoon when we were about an hour shy of him dropping me off on his way to work I asked if I could make a drink (why did I ask permission? old habits I guess) and he said “I mean I would prefer if you didn’t”, and I said “okay”, and was ready to drop it because who cares, I can wait one measly hour. Unfortunately he was not ready to drop the subject. He said “I hope you aren’t just going to make a drink as soon as I drop you off”, and I asked him why it matters what I do when he’s not there if I’m not hurting anybody and he spluttered indignantly for a minute before saying “What if I just started shooting up heroin whenever I wasn’t with you? Would you care?” and I said “I mean, I’d probably be doing it with you”, which was the exact wrong thing to say, but he adjusted his statement to “what if I was smoking meth and going car-prowling whenever we weren’t together?”. I told him that was a false equivalency and asked if he thought my drinking had gotten more serious lately (it hasn’t). 

what if lolita had lived long enough to write her own story? would you want to know what it was like from her perspective?

motel-bambi:

learning how little you need to survive physically and emotionally is important, i think.

oh for heaven’s sake

mediokurrr:

umbronydraws:

you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you bETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅

(via erwzchan)